you thought Money could never be funny…

Family hanging upside down on sofa

Talking about money doesn’t always have to be so serious. Sometimes it’s fun to poke some fun at it!

Here is our attempt to lighten the ‘money talk’ up a bit.


If you think nobody cares if you’re alive,
try missing a couple of car payments.
Earle Wilson

Always borrow money from a pessimist,
he doesn’t expect to be paid back.
Oscar Wilde

Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it.
The thief spends less than my wife did.
Henny Youngman

I have decided to leave my past behind,
so if I owe you money, I’M SORRY, but I moved on.

Car sickness is the feeling you get when the payment is due.

The best way to make someone remember you…
borrow money from them.

They say money can’t buy happiness, but you can buy pizza,
cake, candy, and Netflix, so they’re lying.

What’s your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

And so ends another week of not getting rich unexpectedly.

Dear Santa, 
This year I’d like a FAT bank account and a THIN body…
please don’t confuse the two like you did last year.

My wallet is like an onion. Opening it makes me cry.

A thief broke into my house last night…he started searching for money so I woke up and searched with him.

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money
when it takes 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is
by eating 30% of their ice cream.
Bill Murray

I wish my wallet came with free refills.

At the bank, I told the cashier, “I’d like to open a
joint account please.” She asked, “OK, with whom?”
I said, “Whoever has lots of money.”

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
Steven Wright 


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